WHERE DID PATTI GO?
by Fate-of-Wishes
Summary: A one-shot. Liz can't find Patti, so, with nothing better to do, she and the gang go out to look for her. What they find shock them! I think. Surprise! A weird fan-fic to put a little weirdness in your day.


"Oi! Kiddo! Do you know where Patti is?" Liz sauntered up behind the reaper and placed her hands on her hips. She barely glanced at the two other boys who sat with him.

"No, sorry," Kid replied hastily trying hard to concentrate on the unbearably asymmetrical game of Jenga he, Soul and Black*Star were playing. He stuck his tongue out as he narrowed his eyes at the block he began to pull out. Once he pulled half of it out, he broke out into a sweat as the tower became even more asymmetrical. He then started pulling it slower which began to tick off the impatient Black*Star.

"JUST HURRY UP AND PULL IT OUT ALREADY!"

"That's what she said!" Soul laughed with Black*Star at Kid, who had knocked the tower down at the sudden noise that was Black*Star.

"LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! NOW THERE IS AN ASYMMETRICAL MESS ON THE FLOOR!" Kid cried and hurriedly tried to pick up the blocks. Tried. Black*Star had stated grabbing some and throwing them across the room. "STAHP!" Kid rushed around the room.

"Why am I still here?" Liz muttered and turned to walk away.

"Oh, hey Liz."

"DID YOU JUST NOTICE ME NOW?!"

"'sup?" Soul had his hands behind his head and had grown bored of watching Kid chase after Black*Star.

"Ugh! Have you seen Patti?"

"Uh, nope. Maybe Tsubaki or Maka knows."

"Right, thanks, bye-"

"YOU CAN NEVER CATCH THE GREAT BLACK*STAR! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Kid and Black*Star ran up the stairs and Soul decided to follow them.

Liz sighed and left the room to call up Tsubaki.

There was no answer. She then called Maka and Soul's apartment, which, with no luck, rang out as well.

"Oh, hey Liz!" Liz turned to see Maka and Tsubaki behind her.

"Wat."

"Oh, well, we were going to make plans but you didn't pick up your phone so we came over." Maka smiled sweetly.

"Huh, but I didn't hear the phone…"

"THE GREAT BLACK*STAR WILL NEVER GIVE UP! HAHAHAHA!"

"I don't think anyone would be able to with that racket." Maka gestured to the room behind her where the boys (Black*Star) had started a game of charades.

"Right," Liz's sweat dropped, "uh, do you two happen to know where Patti is?"

"Huh, Patti?" Maka bit her lip, thinking. "Uh, I don't know. Hasn't she going off on her own a lot lately though?"

"Huh, oh yeah, I never really thought about it though."

"Yeah, I noticed that too…" Kid walked into the room.

"YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT BEFORE."

"I was busy before."

"WHATEVER, do you guys know where she's been going though?"

"No idea." Maka shrugged. Liz looked to Kid who shook his head.

"Tsubaki?"

"Sorry, no. But, maybe we can guess where she went…"

"OOH! I KNOW!" Black*Star walked into the room with Soul, "MAYBE SHE WENT TO-!"

"MAKA CHOP!" None of them really wanted to know what he was going to say. Especially with the pervy look that was on his face.

"No, it has to be somewhere she goes often…" Kid muttered.

The six sat down to think.

"THE ZOO! Patti loves the zoo! Let's go right now!" Liz jumped up.

"NOT WITHOUT THE GREAT BLACK*STAR!"

"Guess we're all going then," Soul casually went to stand beside Maka.

"The zoo it is then," Kid pointed his finger into the distance.

* * *

 **At the zoo...**

Liz and the others didn't bother stopping to look at many of the animals on show and went straight to the giraffes. Which is where they found Patti. Talking to a giraffe. No, it wasn't talking. Liz blinked rapidly in confusion, "EH?" It was flirting.

"You look nice today Giraffe-kun! Loving your hairstyle! Do you want to go somewhere nice today? Iknow a really good café…" Patt giggled, leaning against the iron bars that separated her and the giraffe.

"Uh, Patti?" Liz looked to the others who were probably just as weirded out as she was.

"OH! HI BIG SIS!" Patti yelled and waved to her friends.

"Patti, what are you doing?"

"Talking to Giraffe-kun!"

"She's not drunk, is she?" Black*Star asked Liz and Kid. They shook their heads. "She's not on drugs, right?" Soul and Maka shook their heads. "YO PATTI! YOU'RE NOT HIGH ARE YOU?"

"Black*Star!" Tsubaki shot an apologetic smile at Patti, who didn't seem to notice.

"Nope! Just talking with Giraffe-kun~"

The six just stared at her, jaws reaching the floor as Patti continued to flirt with the giraffe.

"Giraffe-kun~ these are my friends! Oh! And that's my big sis Liz and my meister Kid! Aw, don't be jealous, he fancies Liz anyway," Patti winked at the giraffe.

"Wat." Liz, like the others, could only stare. Well, Black*Star was trying to hold in his laughter.

"OHMEGUSH PATTI THAT'S BEASTIALITY."

"BLACK*STAR!" Tsubaki hissed.

"BUT THE GREAT BLACK*STAR WILL GIVE YOU HIS BLESSING!"

Sparkles had begun to fall around Patti and the giraffe.

"Wat." Liz was still confused.

"OKAY GIRAFFE-KUN! I'LL COME INSIDE!"

"GO PATTI! DO IT FOR YOUR TRUE LOVE!"

"SHUT UP BLACK*STAR!" Maka yelled. He was starting to draw attention from the other visitors and the workers there.

"NO! I SHIP GIRTI."

"WHAT THE HECK IS GIRTI?"

"LOVE."

"This is getting out of hand! PATTI YOU COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW, AND THAT GIRAFFE IS UGLY, IT IS SO ASYMMETRICAL." Kid yelled at Patti who was still trying to climb the bars but only managed to get 10 feet off the ground.

"DID YOU JUST CALL GIRAFFE-KUN UGLY?"

"… Shit."

"ARRRRRGH!" Patti leaped off the bars and onto Kid and screamed at him while attacking him.

"Stop Patti!" Maka and Soul tried to pry Patti off Kid.

"I'm sorry! So sorry!" Tsubaki was holding back the passionate Black*Star and was sending apologies to everyone who looked their way.

Once Soul and Maka pulled Patti away from Kid, they fell onto the ground exhausted.

Black*Star however, was not about to give up.

"DON'T WORRY PATTI I WON'T LET YOU BE PULLED AWAY FROM YOUR TRUE LOVE." Black*Star grabbed Patti and threw her over the bars to land on the back of the giraffe.

"STAHP! PATTI NO! HE'S SO DISGUSTINGLY ASYMMETRICAL!"

"GO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"bOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!" Maka hit them both with her book.

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" Soul was still confused as to what was happening.

"…Wat." Liz's mind was still processing.

"Oi! Get out of there!" One of the workers yelled at Patti

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Patti turned into a gun and shot the iron bars apart.

"HOW DA HECK WAS THE GIRAFFE HOLDING HER." Soul yelled.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE." Maka shouted back.

"YOU UNDERSTOOD WHAT WAS GOING ON BEFORE?!"

"NOT REALLY."

"… wat. Patti. Wat." Liz's jaw still on the ground, the zoo burst up into flames.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"THE FREAKIN ZOO IS ON FIRE."

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY."

"PATTTTTI RUN AWAY WITH YOUR TRUE LOVE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME FOR THAT ASYMMETRICAL GARBAGE!"

"WHY IS EVERYBODY YELLING?" Tsubaki, who had been looking after the passed out boys was in as much panic as the others.

"PATTI! GET OFF THE GIRAFE! THE PLACE IS ON FIRE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Liz wailed. Her mind finally in the present.

* * *

"And that's what happened!" Patti smiled cheerfully.

"Wait, how did we get back here?" Liz asked groggily, holding her head.

"Giraffe-kun helped with that! SO YOU BETTER BE THANKFUL KID."

Kid nodded his head miserably. The others wondering how they passed out and how long for soon noticed another person in the room.

It was a tall, handsome guy with shaggy brown hair, cute brown eyes and bright yellow clothes. He was sitting on the couch next to Patti who was leaning on him. Maka swore he reminded her of Blair.

"Who's that?" Liz murmured.

"Huh? What do you mean sis?"

"The guy next to you!"

"OH! *giggles* Giraffe-kun silly! Who else?"

*silence*

(They all passed out, while Patti was laughing maniacally and Giraffe-kun sat there and smiled.)

* * *

"And that was the dream I had." Liz took another bite of her slice of toast. Kid nodded, not really paying attention as he had a huge headache and couldn't remember why. Patti only sighed at her sister's rant.

"Silly sis! That wasn't a dream! That was yesterday!"

"Wat."


End file.
